A Broken Heart For Christmas
by gods of death
Summary: It's the day after Christmas and Jou is laying around the house, depressed. Why is he so upset? Could it be because of a broken heart? Angsty I guess. PG13 because of cuss words. One-shot.


JC: Hell-o people! It's the day after Christmas!

Bou: And for other holidays....um....I don't know when the begin and end so....

JC: But Bou! Your our ethnical specialist. You're supposed to know.

Thomas: That's what happens when you trust Bou.

JC: Jack! Ok Bou, just disclaim the story or something...

(Disclaimer: Bou: We don't own Yu Gi Oh. If we did, it wouldn't be on FANfiction. I would be on...fiction press! No, really, it would be in the manga/anime this way, instead of on a website.)

JC: It's true.

Thomas: Wasn't there more we needed to do?

Bou: Probably but at the moment it escapes me...

JC: Ok, let's start with the Pairings.

Pairings: Thomas: .....I don't know.....I think I lost them.

JC: You lost them? How?

Thomas: Well, it wasn't easy, I can tell you that.

Bou: That's sad Thomas....

JC: I guess you people will have to read to find out.

Bou: What about the warnings?

Warnings: Bilbo: Hey! I'm in the story(kinda)! This story is angsty...it made me cry. It can be depressing and I think there might be cussing in it somewhere. Also, there is a person going a little insane.

JC: I didn't cry.

Thomas: You wrote it.

JC: Still.......

Bilbo: Is that all?

Bou: Pretty much...or does someone want to do like, a plot or whatever?

JC: I could call in Jenn....but I think I'll do it myself.

Thomas: Thank god.

Bilbo: Shut up! She's my friend!!!

Bou: Everyone is your "friend".

Thomas: Eww.

JC: Stop being perverts! God, someone has been a horrible influence on you all.

Thomas: You mean you?

Bou: Yeah! It was you!

JC: I blame Bilbo.

Bilbo: I don't like you guys....

Plot: JC: Jou is laying in his house the day after Christmas. Why is he so depressed? Maybe because of a broken heart?

Thomas: What kind of summary is that?

JC: A damn good one.

Thomas: It's made up of questions! And it's only three sentences long!

JC: It's a summary. It is supposed to be short.

Bou: Oh well. Merry whatever to you all! Enjoy the story! Oh, and we'd like to wish you...

Thomas: Peace!

Bilbo: Happiness!

JC: And some other conventional thing! Now, read.

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A Broken Heart for Christmas(aka to Jenn: Perhaps)

The boy lay face up on the floor. His pale face was tear streaked and smudged with dirt from the dirty hands that had been rubbing his eyes, reddening them. Now, his hands were dropped listlessly by his side, fingering the soft carpet slightly but otherwise unmoving. His eyes appeared blank and empty, as if they had been overwhelmed by an emotion and now had nothing left. Tears glitter in them then slowly slid down his face, only to be replaced by more. His clothes, which had been of an expensive quality, were rumpled and wet from tears that had hit them and alcohol which never made it to a desperate mouth. His golden hair was ruffled and plastered to his forehead from sweat, which he had acquired on his frantic run home, to this room where he now lay. The room, though cheery in appearance, was suffocated by the uncensored sorrow that seemed to seep from every pour of the body on the floor. In the corner sat a tree: tall, green, and stringed with lights that shown with the light of the very sun along with the beautiful figure of an angel, sitting on top of the tree with grace and a feel of watching over the room. A stunning and awe inspiring site that seemed it would warm any heart. To the teen, however, the lights were dull and burning out. The tree was wilting and brown and there was no angel to top it off, just a twisted top of sharp pine leaves. The cream carpet was littered with cards and ripped up envelopes. Evergreens, presents, golden stars, and angels decorated the fronts of the cards, with words proclaiming friendship and love, and wishing the receiver peace, merriment, and other such things. The boy, who had been earlier searching through these notes, addressed to none other then himself, minutes ago with a desperation, now seemed unaware of their existence. He didn't notice the care and love that was presented in them. He didn't get the warm feeling another would have from such things. The message that his friends, family members, and all the senders wished to be received was dead to the blond.

The boy moved his head, for the first time in what seemed an eternity, and stared at the battered calender stuck on the wall with a tack. It held a picture of a tree, much like the one in the house, surrounded by present of every shape and size. He turned his head again to look at his table, which was also covered in gifts. Each was unopened, carefully wrapped in gleaming paper, with bows of every color, and a tag proclaiming 'To: Jou' or some other name for the same person such as "best friend" and "onii-chan". The blond, Jou himself, turned away from the presents as if they pained him, and looked at the calender once more. Big red X's covered each day, leading up to the 25th, which was circled. Jou hesitated for a moment, then pushed himself onto his feet. He moved mechanically toward the calender, until he was right in front of it. He picked up the red marker on the floor by it, and slowly removed the cap, staring intensely at the circled date the whole time. He lifted the marker to the date and, with his hand shaking violently the whole time, crossed it out. His grip on the marker loosened and it slipped out of his hand. It plummeted to the ground but Jou took no notice. The blond let out a deep sigh and wiped away the tears that slid down his face. This time, none came to replace them. The blond looked around him, at the tree and it's angel, the card littering the floor, the presents piled up, the bottle full of rum, which he had at first attempted to drink, and the carpet spot with his impression in it, from where he had laid for the longest time. It was seemed pitiful, even to him. He walked slowly to the bottle of rum. When he had first arrived he had cracked it out and chugged some, hoping to drown the sorrow. After the first drink, he had toss the bottle aside, and it now lay on the floor spilling it's contents onto the once perfect carpet. No matter how much pain he felt, he refused to drown it out in alcohol. He had decided he was better than that, he wouldn't allow his family, friends, to see him like that. He didn't want to be that kind of person. So he threw the bottle and ruined his carpet. The blond picked up the rum and looked at it. A temptation washed over him. The sweet liquid dripped down the side of the bottle, making it's way ever so slowly down to the bottom, and dripping onto his hand. Just a few drinks, just a sip or two, and the pain would end. Just a little of the sweet nectar, surely from the gods, and he would be saved. Saved from himself, from his emotions, from others.....saved. A looked at pure disgust crossed his face and in a swell of emotions, he chucked the bottle towards the wall. It smashed with a bang and glass flew across the room. Jou shielded his eyes from the glass flying at him. Once the rain of shards stopped, the blond moved his hands from his amber eyes. He stared for a moment at the alcohol dripping from the wall. The brownish liquid left a big splotch and it dripped down across the wall, to the carpet, ruining another section. Jou turned away, refusing to look at the spot that would stain his wall and thus his memory of this night. Now he would forever have a reminder of this sorrow, a reminder in his very house, one that a would never get rid of. The blond smiled ruefully. He could have the wall cleaned, of course he could, but he wouldn't. That would be a sign of weakness. Admitting that he couldn't handle the memory. Besides, it's always good to have a reminder, to keep you from making a mistake again, to make sure the pain lives on.

"Lest we forget...." mutter the blond, his smile widening. It all seemed suddenly ironic to him. The stain forming on the wall, his smile, and the pain in his heart. He chuckled softly, a mocking tone. The laugh mocked the world, mocked himself, mocked his friends and family, mocked all he knew, and mocked the one who broke his heart. The laughter stopped quite suddenly. Jou's face became blank as he caught his refection in the mirror across the room. He stared at it, entranced. His own face was fascinating to him. He stepped closer to the mirror, closer, and closer still, until he was right in front of it. He studied his wide honey eyes, still seemingly wet with tears, though his crying had ceased. He stared at his smudged skin, once a pale white but now slightly grey and spotted darker in certain places with dirt. Jou brought a tentative hand up and ran it though his mused hair. The golden locks we silky against his skin and seemed horribly out of place on him, for even when they were messed, they held a look of beauty to them. Jou did not feel beautiful, nor did he wish to at the moment. His hand flew away from his hair and he continued to stare at his reflection. It seemed to be taunting him. His reflection seemed to sneer at him, contempt for himself filling his being.

"How was I to know..." Jou muttered, as if defending himself. The refection kept it's look.

"How was I to know!!" Jou repeated, louder this time. Still the reflection sneered.

"It wasn't my fault. I didn't know. I didn't know this would happen. I didn't know anything like this would ever happen." the blond defended. The mirror seemed to reply, "You should have known. You shouldn't have let yourself into that kind of situation in the first place." The reflection waited for a response, a sneer in place once again.

"I couldn't help it. It's not my fault I feel this way...NO! Felt that way. I had to do something. I can't help my emotions." Jou tried to reason. The reflection didn't buy it. He replied coolly "It was stupid of you to fall for them in the first place. Anyone, anyone but THEM! This thing would have been less complicated with anyone else. It's your own damn fault."

"But how was I to know they would react like they did? I had to tell them the way I felt. I would have been eaten alive otherwise! Eaten by my own emotions. I didn't know they would do this to me..." Jou replied. The mirror image glared slightly. "It should have been obvious they would react as they did. What did you expect, for them to welcome you with open arms, to accept you...to_ love_ you? Why would they ever love you? It's obvious to everyone but you. This pain, it's self caused. You, in a sense, broke your own heart. You can not blame anyone else for your stupidity. Not even them." The reflection stared Jou down, daring him to deny what he said. Jou didn't deny it.

"Your right..." Jou agreed sadly "It was my fault. I'm an idiot. I should have known...I shouldn't have let my emotions get so deep, I should have been more aware." The reflection nodded, it's face turning from contempt to acceptance. "Of course you know what you have to do. Thinking about it is pointless. Blaming yourself and feeling bad is pointless. You have learned your lesson." Jou nodded in agreement to the other's words.

"I will move on. I will get over this. But, I will not forget. This time...I gave my heart away foolishly. Next time....I'll give it to someone special." Jou said, sighing. The reflection looked at Jou for a moment, almost quizzically, then ask quietly "But who is special? No one? ....Perhaps that is what we have truly learned." Jou looked to be in thought for a moment.

"Perhaps" he agreed "but....perhaps not. Maybe...but no.....we shall see I suppose." With this said, Jou turned away from his reflection. The "perhaps" ran through his mind. The very idea seemed to stab him. Was there no one who he could trust his heart with? Did he even want someone like that? Having someone who has such power over you....it's scary. Why would you want another to have control over you heart, control to break it. Is it truly to have loved and lost....then never to have loved at all? Was love even an existing thing? Hallmark presented love simply to you. A feeling of endearing, forever wishing to be with another, and caring so deeply it could hurt. Yet, it didn't hurt...it just made you feel wonderful. Hallmark is a million dollar company out to make money. Perhaps though, through all this pain there is a pleasure in finding the true one for you. Maybe, but as it seemed to Jou, one would have to be an emotional masochist to go through all that.

"It's just the heartbreak talking...." muttered Jou, shaking his head to clear his melancholy thoughts. Sighing loudly, Jou seated himself on the floor. He picked up one of the cards littering the ground and opened it up, reading the caring words inside. He had read this card a millions times, he could quote it, and yet it made no difference. Earlier, he had been reading this over and over, trying to find some comfort in the love of his friend. He found none. Even now, as he read it once more, there was no warm feeling. He felt nothing. He understood the words, yet it meant nothing to him. He felt oddly numb. The sorrow had made him empty, and suddenly the world was clear and understandable. Not to mention bland. He wondered briefly if perhaps the pain was worth the odd after feelings. A painful emotional high followed by an apathetic low. Jou quickly decided that it wasn't.

"Pointless moping around....better get to doing something productive..." Jou muttered, standing up once more, the card still clutched in his hand. He began moving around the room, picking up cards, pieces of envelopes, and generally cleaning up. He stopped for a moment, spotting a picture on the floor. A picture of....them. Jou had been clutching for the past year. The eyes of the person seemed to burn right through him. The picture was intense, emotion filled...and suddenly to Jou, quite empty. With an unreadable face, he bent over and picked the picture from it's place on the floor. The photo was stained with tears and smudged from being clutched by dirty hands. A week ago, two days ago even, Jou would have been attempting to clean off the photo. He would be staring at it in awe, with love and admiration. Now, he stared at it evenly, no emotions showing. Slowing he walked over to the first crackling brightly in the corner. With a flick of his wrist, the picture tumbled into the fireplace, and was right away set aflame. Jou didn't even glance at it again as the face that had haunted his dreams burned away to ash, he simply turned away apathetically and continued cleaning. With the burning of the picture, a seeming acceptance was made. The room no longer drowned in sorrow, though an undertone of grief still haunted the air. Jou smiled, a real smile this time. No matter how many "perhaps" haunted his life, he would move on. Perhaps was only perhaps after all. And perhaps.....perhaps could someday become something more certain. Perhaps....you never know.

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An(that's author's noooote!): Well? What did you think? A little sad. Maybe. This was a no pairing story. It will work for any pairing(granted that Jou is in it. It could even be yaoi). So, those of you who love Jou/spoon but can find it no where.....you're welcome. I had a particular pairing in mind at first but...I like not pairing better. What pairing do you think is best for this story(or which do you want it to be)? I'd love to know. A review would be extremely appreciated. Nobody likes me....also, I'd like to really quickly thank those who reviewed the last chapter of "All in the Pout"(if you haven't read it, do. Also, read my other stuff!) I hope you are all reading this, so you know I appreciate your reviews.

DBZHobbit: I know, how sad. Thank you. I'm glad at least you think the ending was good. Everyone else is all like: "I want another chapter!" Thank, again.

Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: All things must end. Yes, I am a genius. Good to know that you recognized that. Thanks for the review!

mandapandabug: Thank you. "The best"...I feel honored. Sorry it took so long. Good analogy. Now I'm going to get a sticker that says "Author of the best fic for Jou-lovers", then everyone will know. Thank you and later(hopefully).

anaraz: Thanks. you don't like my ending? I was unsatisfied with it too, in all truth. But I probably will not fix it....to many other things to work on.

kuroi-sakurapetals: Thank you!!! I love the weird people. They just came to me while I was writing. I couldn't resist putting them in. Glad you liked it!

Sora Kohaku: La la land? A good place(that means my story was good, not bad, right?)? Well, enjoy your vacation and thanks for the review.

Rayne: Whoop! Another one who likes the ending. Well, someone had to get killed...maybe next time I'll threaten someone else's life repeatedly. Thank you veeeery much!

PanDora: You like the ending! That makes three people who like it! I was thinking about doing a sequel of Jou's date. I was planning to have Kaiba do some stalking. Think you would read it? Thanks!

AbeoUmbra: Weird and psycho are good descriptions. No kidding. I'm pretty sure I messed up the German somehow. There was an English translation. At the end, somewhere by the authors notes. Thank you! Guten Nacht!

I love joey yugi 4eva: Another chapter? I might write a sequel about Jou's date but...that would be it. Is this a death threat? Haha. I'll read your story, I promise. It's just I've been busy with this and another one....Thank you so much for reviewing!

I hope you are all reading this, so you know I appreciate your reviews. I'd like to get some for this fic, too. Well, that's it. Later!


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